Tuesday, September 15, 2015

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction

The thrill that you've never known is the thrill that'll 
getcha when you get your picture on the cover of the 
Rollin' Stone.

I want it all, but I can't always get what I want. Went to Seattle last month, but I didn't get to stay and drive to fucking Oregon and prepare for the Civil War. I went to Buffalo and saw Bisons, but I never got to see them play a native team. If I could have it all, I would just watch both football and cartoons (and that includes watching cartoon sex).

Maybe I can have it all. I can watch the Civil War on Friday, November 27th right after I draw an animated short on the death of Donald Duck. The fucking duck was murdered by Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. If I could always get what I want, a minority party would win the Canadian federal election and there would already be a coronation with Hillary Clinton as president in the United States thus ending bullshit politics. It would give good people more fucking time to fucking focus on what is really goddamn important, like the Oregon State Beavers and Oregon’s Civil War. I really CAN'T (pronounced cunt instead of can't by some British speaking people) be the next Abraham Lincoln or afford a Lincoln luxury car, but I know what’s motherfucking important. I can’t always get what I want, but if I try sometimes, I can get what I need. And I need my motherfucking book published and I’m going beyond what’s friggin' necessary to make it known to every cunt who thinks it can't be done.

My wife wanted to see Hawaii. She didn't need to see the beautiful place, but she wanted to see Hawaii; so you better fucking believe she saw Hawaii. She got to see the shitty Hawaii Rainbow Warriors get destroyed by The Ohio State Buckeyes in a 38-nil shutout at the Shoe. I even took her to Nancy’s Home Cooking where she watched me devour a Garbage Omelet. The Ohio road trip wouldn’t have been complete without seeing Indians. We’re fans of Indians and watched them win a game while still in contention for the wild card in the American League. The Indians are going up the totem pole in the MLB.

As a conspiracy theorist, Ohio doesn't function like a state. No, Communist Ohio runs like a fucking country where no news gets out of the so-called state. Ohio doesn't export their beer and the governor's bid to run for president is just a motherfucking grass roots movement to oust the damn Republican and complete the communist takeover by The Ohio State University. China "likes" Ohio and John Richard Kasich. The Chinese still read John's letters to Richard Nixon. I studied American history when enslaved to writing essays when I was young. It was almost satisfactory.

Aloha from the Almighty Buckeyes.

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