Friday, August 28, 2015

Kinder Und Betrunkene Sagen Immer Die Wahrheit

What it means: It's hard to find people who tell you the truth. But the motherfucking question for East and West Germany is simply this. It is are children learning? Is the mug half full or half empty with 11 percent beer?

After kick-ass road trips to Michigan over the years, I’m concluding every community functions like a state. Frankenmuth is a friggin’ Bavarian city distinct from other communities. Michigan, Michigan State, Eastern Michigan, Central Michigan and Western Michigan are universities distinct as separate communities. But the real fucking question in the United States remains: What are The Beavers going to do if there’s a lame Duck that wants to give them the stiff-arm just because they're The Beavers? Prepare yourself straight outta Oregon.

Probieren geht ├╝ber studieren. The German translation means trying is better than studying. The equivalent is the proof of the pudding is in the eating. If it wasn’t for fucking summer school, I would still be in goddamn high school.

I collect mugs as a motherfucking hobby. It’s getting boring. I’m going to start to fucking collect Nazi memorabilia.

Myth: Media tell the truth.

Reality: News and information is presented usually with extreme bias and never including all relevant facts.

Think of the great figures that have served in the United States senate on either side. Ted Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson and Chuck Shultz; and now Americans have been reduced to Chuck Schumer. I want to buy a manure farm in Oregon. I want to vote and go Duck hunting.

Truth be told, Trump is threatening to destroy democracy in the United States. Donald Trump runs his empire like a king and it’s politically incorrect to run the country like the king of a company. Americans don’t need Donald Trump, Donald Duck or fucking Oregon Ducks. There’s college football or computer animation. I’ll take football over a fucking cartoon. 

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