Black Jeopardy And The Bills After The Weird Go Pro

Predicament No. 1: Novelism

Bring back the motherfucking-ass dominance of the transformation of novels.

I want to become a category on Jeopardy and watch the entire episode for the hearing impaired with White Alex screaming his lungs out. I’m weighing the pros and cons of online writing and concluding I want to write in the friggin' future. I've chosen to write my first novel blog. I'm releasing the first edition of Lionheart Leaks.

The story is about a group of 20-something underachievers struggling in life. They're paid to work for Lionheart Incorporated. Working for a very ambitious and corrupt company, the employees form good friendships before learning they have been duped by the company. After a friend dies, they secretly form Lionheart Leaks to get back at the founders of Lionheart, but their plan gets sabotaged.

Here’s my self-edited opening from the highly anticipated online version of Installment No. 1: Howgh, It All Began (A Collection Of Random Incidents):

“A scratched vinyl record was being played on the stereo turntable and the song sounded like Cherry, Cherry from Neil Diamond’s Gold. I was listening to the classic song and a poor, dumb waitress at the same time. The troubled waitress with bright green eyes wearing too much makeup apologized for not recognizing me at first and then told me that she would bring another drink.” (Lionheart Leaks WIP)

Scratch that. The Atlanta Braves are brave.

brave

 (brāv)

adj. brav·er, brav·est

1. Possessing or displaying courage.

2. Making a fine display; impressive or showy: "a coat of brave red lipstick on a mouth so wrinkled that it didn't even have a clear outline" (Anne Tyler).

3. Excellent; great: "The Romans were like brothers / In the brave days of old" (Thomas Macaulay).

4. A word that basically means Richard Tattoni.

If I had Stephen King’s address, I would send him an old-fashioned letter and tell him he’s getting old and he should visit The Great Beyond. The word if is the middle word in life and maybe Stephen King needs to read Lionheart Leaks coming soon Beyond The Rum Diary.

Predicament No. 2: Pros and Cons

O.J. Simpson became USC’s second Heisman Trophy winner in 1968 when he first captured the hearts and minds of Civil War enthusiasts. The Pac-12 evolved over recent decades to become bigger and better, but the conference is having a bloody awful year of football.

A Civil War college football rivalry game between Beavers and Ducks brings in a shitload of money for the Pac-12 Conference. The Great Beyond has become a home for veterans of the game to look back and remember. Leave It To Beaver, I’m not choosing sides or bringing back Abraham Lincoln from the dead. I want to go beyond football and play a new game on my PlayStation 11. Let’s play Black Jeopardy. In the category of “What Happened Was,” Black Alex says “The lights went off.” Mr. Hightower buzzes in first and tries answering in the form of a question, “What happened was I forgot to pay the bill.” Mr. Hightower couldn't answer in the form of a question and started a fight with Black Alex over his Bill Cosby sweater.

The American Thanksgiving is a time to relive O.J. Simpson’s big record-breaking performance against the Detroit Lions. O.J. is still revered as the best player the Buffalo Bills ever had. True story.

I’ve accepted that there are pros and cons in this world, and professional teams like the Buffalo Bills must be better understood. This is the reality of the world that we live in. I’m a fan of Buffalo, Seattle, and the Browns. Bring back Jim Brown, James Brown, and Charlie Brown!