Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Celebrating Misery And The EU

Stairway To Heaven
Are you suffering from Led poisoning? Get the goddamn Led out of your ears and focus on the truth in media. Why do we want to hear about unhappiness? We want to hear Stairway To Hell in a heavy metal jam. You want to learn about my feelings of great distress and discomfort of mind and body. From territorial pissings to when I'm going to climb that stairway to heaven and sing about misery a final time. I can almost hear the organ now.


You’ve heard a song
     that’s had a struggle before,
     where twinges meet to adore

an admirer or half-
     faced rock star in a cloud
     of smoke. Yodel louder

than that melody
     within her soul -- tormented in
     anguish from lies and sin,

as lovers cross a corner
     of time like rubber-stamps 
     of harlots and tramps

that play a painful piece
     in rump-fed hearts to go
     or follow. Winds will blow

with me as I travel
     to it; a slow under-
     current as they were
in waves to throngs of folk
     gone fly-bitten to the ground
     where sounds do pound

like euphoria! What concert
     went astray in sadness
     to bring a heart-filled bliss?

The rolling thunder goes
     gaily, the listeners join free
     to pass in mirth of glee

from a paradox. A fool
     went through just yesterday
     to hear the dreary music play!

Misery brings joy. The Raptors suck, but the Cavaliers rock. I want to go back to Cleveland to see the Indians play at Progressive Field. I want to hear the blues when I think about Cleveland. It's been a long time since the Indians won the World Series. It's been a long time since Indians won anything. Lately I've been thinking how to make sports better. Las Vegas needs a hockey team. There needs to be another Indian team to help the Blackhawks. Professional wrestling needs to play a bigger role in Bollywood. Let's face it, wrestling is not on the map like it was years ago. Bollywood needs to embrace old school wrestling. There needs to be a Bollywood Hogan of wrestling to start a new era in sports entertainment. How can Western Culture better embrace Indians? Start by celebrating Ramadan and misery. Ramadan is a time for reflection, giving and being truly charitable.

  1. Refrain from consuming food until after midnight
  2. Refrain from a cold beer until after midnight
  3. Refrain from smoking until after midnight
  4. Refrain from sex until after midnight.
  5. No sinful behaviour that may negate the reward of fasting
  6. No listening to WOW 87.7
  7. No listening to WRICH 109.9
  8. No listening to AM 2200
  9. Don't wrestle until after Ramadan
  10. Don't insult Catholics until after Ramadan
  11. No opening Doors or listening to Jim Morrison

Vive la France. Euro 2016 is here and my eyes shift to Britain. For a long time, we had a Game of Thrones in Europe. They couldn’t get along and there were border wars and then we created something called the European Union. And it’s grown to be a huge market with many countries. Europe was starting to compete on a global scale and now Britain is going to decide whether they stay or leave the European Union. Some people might not think it’s a big deal, but it is. Start on the business side, twenty percent of our exports go to the European Union. We want a healthy EU because it’s good for us. Oscar Wilde once said “Britain has 42 religions and two sauces.” Right? It’s not a place of passion. But you cannot believe the passionate divide, and it is too close to call on whether they’ll be division. A lot of people are saying let’s have Britain just be Britain. That's great, but therein lies the debate. It’s important to you because if for some reason the EU falls apart, we are going to have to spend a lot more money, a lot more treasure, time and maybe some of our blood to try to put Europe back together. If the EU holds together, it’s good for us economically. It’s bloody good for us, because if they hold together, armies can mobilize on other parts of the planet. It relates to us and we need to join in celebrating Europe's utter misery.
Long Live Misery

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