Thursday, August 6, 2015

If You Pee On Everybody, You Can't Tell Them It's Rain

Since joining the blogosphere as a Mild Mannered Reporter, I've gone Beyond The Rum Diary and shared some really intoxicating shit with the blogging world. My advice to bloggers would be to write from the heart -- let it all cum out. Most of the shit I read on blogs is real pure horseshit, but I'm telling you my shit reads the best and it's straight from the horse's ass or the bison's ass or whatever.

Donald Trump pissed people off within seconds at the Republican National Committee debate. The View co-host Whoopi Goldberg is already tired of Donald Trump's presidential campaign. Whoopi made The Wrap weeks ago. I had to fucking dust off my dictionary to look up backflip.



n., v. -flipped, -flip•ping. n.
1. a backward somersault.
2. a dive executed by somersaulting backward.
3. a comb over Donald Trump asks his barber for. 
N.W.A. doesn’t stand for “Nine White Accountants” or “Nickelback Was Awesome” or “Namedropping Woody Allen.” The hip-hop biopic Straight Outta Compton, about the rap group N.W.A., hits theaters; so get your motherfucking 3-D glasses out and go see it. Until the Beavers are fed to the Wolverines, I don’t give a fuck. But Beavers don’t stop building goddammit, so get ready for the Civil War. First played in 1894, the Civil War is the American football rivalry game played annually in Oregon between Beavers and Ducks. Both schools are members of the North Division of the Pac-12 also known as college football’s top conference. Every fucking Cheerleader get ready. Every S.O.B. get ready. 

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